I wanted to write something to document this time. History is certainly being made right now and I am positive this is a time my kids will look back at and talk about with their kids. Has it been easy? Nope, I had a major meltdown in the beginning when I was attempting to adjust to this new normal. I was exhausted, frustrated and had no control; or so I thought. Although I cannot control when the kids will go back to school or when we will be able to go anywhere I can control me. And I am the only one who can do that. It was just easier not to and to complain about it. I have been doing a lot of personal growth work lately and have shifted my focus and now have plenty of things to be thankful for and am actually excited to get out of bed every day. Here are some of the things that I am going to remember when I look back on this time.
Retiring from chauffeur service: One of the biggest sources of stress to me prior to this was the constant running. Schlepping myself and the kids from one place to the next and getting there by the skin of my teeth. I was driving to three different towns and back again every day to get everyone to school and work and then picking them up all the while that aftercare clock ticking in the back of my head. I felt like I was in a race against time every single day. Guess what, I don’t have to take anyone, anywhere and I am more than ok with that. No more wondering who has to be where and when. We wake up, we’re here, let’s go.
I don’t have to miss them: Another thing I would often be sad about is that during all the running prior to this time, I would miss my kids. I would inflict the evil monster mom guilt on myself about working at times. I would daydream, wondering what they were doing, learning, could they be struggling with something and I don’t even realize it. I now have a front row view into their day to day. I get to watch them learn and work on their skills. I get to see what they are good at and also get to see what they may be struggling with. We may not be able to go on a vacation and see a spectacular sunrise or beautiful landscape, but this current view is pretty cool and something I am thankful I can witness.
LUNCHTIME: More often than not, I never took a lunch. I’d work straight through because it was often harder to re-motivate myself if I took a break. 30 minutes is not an amount of time that I felt I could get anywhere, unwind for a bit and return, instead it was more rushing so I just skipped it altogether. Now not only do I get to have lunch with my whole family, but I get to see more than 4 tiny cubicle walls. We eat outside. I get to feel the sunshine, see the flowers and hear the birds instead of a phone. It’s another cool trade for now.
Another thing I struggled with prior was finding time to work out. Now, I am able to squeeze in a workout on my lunch. My current coworkers at home don’t care if I’m sweaty and they like to join in which keeps me motivated.
Books! I have never been a huge TV watcher. I could easily remove them altogether from my life and never think twice about it but there are some guys here who would surely think otherwise so we compromised over a year ago and got rid of cable. The last thing I wanted was to find myself binging on TV to fill the time. For one thing, there is not a whole lot of spare time to be had; and when there is I have had the time to get back to my love of reading. I can sit and enjoy a book with my morning coffee in the time that I was circling my kitchen packing lunches and backpacks. I preordered Dave Hollis’ book months ago, it was released in March and I now have the time to read it, really read it rather than glaze over a few pages before passing out at night. Now I am reading the material, absorbing it and even taking notes.
Dress Code: I am very fortunate that I have a job that allows business casual dress. However, some of my favorite things to wear are motivational t shirts. Something comfy and cute with a positive message just makes me feel happy. I could also live in a hat, I love me some hats. And anyone who knows me knows I love to be barefoot. In fact one of my friends at work will first ask me if I have shoes on prior to asking me if I could come over to her desk). Most days at work I would find myself (and I know a lot of you would too) counting down the minutes until I got home so I could just put on my comfy sweats, kick off my shoes and chill. No worries about that now, every day is casual Friday. Every day I can put on a favorite tee, some comfy joggers and even a hat! That is something to be thankful for.
So the moral of this story is that although this time has been difficult. It is a dark time for the world and I am not taking any of this lightly, but I can see the light in this darkness and hold on to it for dear life.